In this case . . . while the challenged packaging contains the word "berries" it does so only in conjunction with the descriptive term "crunch." This Court is not aware of, nor has Plaintiff alleged the existence of, any actual fruit referred to as a "crunchberry." Furthermore, the "Crunchberries" depicted on the [box] are round, crunchy, brightly-colored cereal balls, and the [box] clearly states both that the Product contains "sweetened corn & oat cereal" and that the cereal is "enlarged to show texture." Thus, a reasonable consumer would not be deceived into believing that the Product in the instant case contained a fruit that does not exist. . . . So far as this Court has been made aware, there is no such fruit growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world.
And just to make sure the message got across, when addressing the possibility of re-filing the lawsuit, the judge said:
In this case, . . . it is simply impossible for Plaintiff to file an amended complaint stating a claim based upon these facts. The survival of the instant claim would require this Court to ignore all concepts of personal responsibility and common sense. The Court has no intention of allowing that to happen.
Why isn't this guy being nominated for the Supreme Court? Or, for that matter, why isn't he running our banks or our car companies? I guess I should just be thankful we have at least one District Judge with his brain in his head instead of being stored in a jar in some dark room somewhere.
And just to make sure everyone gets the picture, this isn't some bored, rich, slightly unbalanced person who bought a box of Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries thinking it contained fruit, got the box home, realized it didn't, and over-reacted. This barely-humanoid nutjob had been crunching through Crunchberries for four years before she figured it out.
I just hope California is one of those states that charge people like this the full cost of their stupidity.
2 comments:
I love this at the very end:
"He found that their attack on "Crunchberries" should fare no better than their prior claims that "Froot Loops" did not contain real froot."
Froot! ROFL!
Obviously, there is a certain segment of the population that needs to spend less time inflicting their stupidity on society and more time pursuing activities more in line with their mental capability. Like picking up trash along the highway.
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