Sunday, April 12, 2020

Easter 2020


Happy Easter to everyone!!

Life in Lock-Down

Florida joined up with most of the other states and declared a formal lock-down. We can still do take-out and drive thru for food; grocery stores are open, but good luck scoring toilet paper; most churches are shut down, although a few are defying the 10-or-fewer people rule and having regular services. We were already pretty much shut in and had even told my parents that they could not go to church, so not much changed for us.

One problem we had is that my parents eat out frequently, so instead, we started preparing meals and taking them over to their place. It's still eating out - as in eating out on the porch; for now, we are keeping them happy. Dad still has to have a Burger King every week or so, but we're working on weaning him off of that.

We've also been canceling "unnecessary" doctor visits, which raises the question: If they were unnecessary, why were they ever made in the first place? I had my first video doctor visit the other day; it seemed... well... unnecessary. Nothing was said or done that could not have been handled with a simple phone call or even an e-mail. The video quality was so poor on either end, I could never had shown him anything. But I'm sure some tech consulting firm made a mint setting it all up and that is all that really matters, right? After all, those legions of burger flippers put out of their jobs by automation are going to become tech experts after watching a dozen or so TED Talks, and they need jobs!

We are still trying to figure out when exactly we are leaving for Michigan. Medical stuff keeps jumping into our path, so by the time we get everything set, something else pops up. As of right now, there is nothing stopping us from leaving when we originally planned as long as the states don't try to close their borders. We keep hearing rumors of cops pulling people over at random and demanding ID's and proof that it's "necessary" for them to be on the road. If true, then we are taking a bigger hit to our constitutional rights (freedom of travel, freedom of association, freedom of assembly) than we took after 9/11.

And speaking of politicians over-stepping their authority, we have this little gem:

“If you’re not buying food, medicine, or other essential items, you should not be going to the store,” [Governor Gretchen Whitmer] said. Big-box retailers such as Walmart were ordered to shutter entire sections of their stores – such as furniture, carpeting, plant nurseries, paint, and garden centers – beginning on April 10.

The state’s strict lockdown measures mean residents will be stuck at home for the start of spring, but those who were hoping to plant a vegetable garden to help pass the time – or get some fresh air – are fresh out of luck.

...

Amanda Carpenter, a CNN contributor with more than 140,000 Twitter followers, wrote that her friends in Michigan are “irate” over the fact that they “can’t get farm supplies but booze and lottery tickets are available.”

Good to see my home state has their priorities straight, even in a pandemic: neoliberal exploitation in the form of liquor and lottery ticket sales are "essential", but seeds and plants that allow citizens some infinitesimal  bit of freedom from Corporate Food (tm)? NOT ALLOWED!

Whata bunch of bozos. I hope Michigan residents remember this at the next election.

If we have elections....

Thursday, March 19, 2020

COVID-19, Dogs, Tortoises, and Other Miscellaneous

Given that the State of Florida is closed for business until further notice, I haven't had much to share lately. Debbie finally got a picture of our latest rent-a-dog:


Her name is Sophie. She's very old and makes almost as much noise standing up and lying down as I do. She can also hold her own when we all got into a snoring contest. I think we set off the neighbor's car alarm....

We also have a gopher tortoise living behind our lot. We haven't named him/her yet, but I'm leaning towards "Fred". Except it might be a "Fredericka". We haven't bothered peeking at it's naughty bits. Yet. Anyway, he/she/it came out of his/her/its burrow to say, "Hi!"


I can't remember if I've already posted a photo of our rent-a-cat; a very vocal "free living" cat that seems to like hanging out with us:



For some reason, that is her favorite chair to take naps on, even though it's kinda slippery and she's slid off and landed on her head at least once.

The flowers are blooming. The amaryllis are up:



and the hibiscus are going crazy this year:


As I mentioned, everything is pretty much shut down at this point. A lot of the seasonal people are pulling out because if all you can do is sit inside and stare at the TV, you may as well be closer to family up in snow country. We are still planning on taking the 'rents up north around the end of April. I'm hoping by then that the worst of the insanity has worn off and things will be, if not normal, at least minimally functional. Rumors are flying that the states are going to close their borders, even though such a move would be constitutionally problematic, not to mention not all that practical. Shutting down the freeways? OK, that's barely plausible. But what about secondary roads? As we liked to say when we were kids, "You and whose army?"

Personally, not much has changed for us other than not going to the Moose Lodge for spaghetti and music on Mondays with my parents, and staying closer to home. Like everywhere else in the "civilized" world, the store shelves are stripped bare of toilet paper and bread, but we've always kept a fairly deep pantry, so we're good and have enough to keep my parents going for quite a while as well.

The big question is if we will be able to head north when we plan to. Will the hotels be open that we've already booked rooms in? Will the dialysis center in Michigan agree to take me on as a seasonal patient, or will they tell me to take a hike? Will things get bad enough  that some sort of national state of emergency will make any travel impossible? It's kinda scary that we even have to think about questions like that, but such is the "post-coronavirus world."

Well, given that everyone is hording the bread, it looks like I'm going to have to make some for us and my parents. Forcing me to make and eat fresh-baked bread: it's a cruel, cruel world out there....

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Sunday, February 16, 2020

Thursday, February 06, 2020

When I Was a Kid







This was me as a kid, only instead of cool Bon Iver music, what you would have heard was:

You can't go out in just that sweater in this weather! You'll catch cold and DIE!

Don't walk so close to the water! You'll fall in and DIE!

Don't touch that! It could be poisonous and you'll DIE!

Quit looking up in the sky! You'll trip, break your neck and DIE!

Don't wade in the water! You'll get your pants wet, catch cold and DIE!

Don't touch that bird! You'll catch bird flu and DIE!

Don't climb on those rocks! You'll slip, fall and DIE!


Love ya Mom!


Thursday, January 30, 2020

2020 Is Off to a Good Start





Can't wait for February.....

Sunday, January 19, 2020

If You Are Easily Offended, Don't Read This

So I'm skimming through articles on RT and come across this little jem:

The United Methodist schism is all about RACIST white pro-LGBTQ progressives muscling out ethnic minorities faithful to Bible

The title of the article gives away the plot, but there were some interesting details. For example, the little insignificant detail that the UMC actually held a vote as to whether the church should abandon the 2,000-year-old doctrine that homosexuality is a sin and the majority voted "No" and that indeed it was still a sin. Like liberals everywhere, the ones pushing the church to change its doctine took the loss magnanimously and agreed to abide by existing doctrine.

Oh. Wait.

The expectation was that it was the progressives who would decide they had to leave.

It turns out Mohler was completely wrong. The opposite has happened. Somehow in the following year, the LGBTQ faction turned the tide and got the conservatives to call it quits.

All the MSM outlets are reporting the fallout the same way: the newly minted ‘traditionalist Methodist’ denomination will be allowed to continue to be bigots in their own splinter group.

And there is certainly bigotry at play here, but it’s not coming from the traditionalists. They are simply affirming the same truths Christians have always affirmed in a world that wants them to change.

Not having a personal dog in this fight, I've stayed quiet on this issue while watching denomination after denomination fall prey to the queers. The Bible is explicit in its condemnation of homosexuality, right along with fornication and adultery. If you are going to call yourself a "Methodist" and "Christian", then you cannot support the whole rainbow flag crowd. It's just that simple. Go start your own religion (or join any of the thousands out there that have no problem with homosexuals, adulterers, etc.), but stop hijacking Christian churches along with their real estate and other bankable assets. Cuz it's always about the benjamins...

Take my personal experience as an example. I was raised as a GARBC Baptist, active member, lay pastor, board member, etc. Paid out tens of thousands of dollars to get a degree in ministry. Devoted over 40 years to service in my chosen denomination. And then, gradually over a period of several years discovered that I did not agree with the church on several major doctrinal points.

So naturally, I used my position as a lay pastor and board member to hold the church's assets hostage. I demanded that the GARBC immediately change its doctrinal position even though the majority of the congregation did not agree with me.

I, of course, did none of that. I simply left the church, stopped identifying myself as "GARBC Baptist" and have pretty much dropped the "Christian" label as well. I am currently exploring other options, most of which incidentally are accepting of homosexuals (and adulterers and fornicators, etc.). Personally, I could care less who shags whom, how they do it or how many are involved as long as everyone is consenting and of age. But to claim that after 2,000 years, there has been some sort of new revelation and that everyone has been misinterpreting scripture (including those who spoke the languages the Bible was originally written in) has to qualify as the most arrogant and self-serving drivel that I've ever heard.

To say that I am disappointed that the Methodist leadership caved in to the fags is a massive understatement. Shame on those who orchestrated this hostile take-over and shame on those who stood by and let it happen.

And now that I've pissed off my last three readers, I will sign off.

Wednesday, January 01, 2020

New Year, New Decade

Here we are in the year 2020, the far-off future we all dreamed about when we were kids (when we weren't doing duck-and-cover drills). I'm with Calvin on this one:


Last New Years Day I was in the hospital, so I didn't do a proper post, but I probably would have said pretty much the same thing I said two years ago:

Speaking of the future, it's that time of year to look back at what I expected for last year and what I expect for this year. I have to say that I'm really surprised that we made it all the way through 2017 without some sort of crash, bust, implosion, etc. I have to give credit to the Masters of the Universe at the Fed, ECB, BOJ, PBOC, etc. for keeping all the plates spinning for another twelve months. Not that the real economy is in any better shape now than a year ago. The opposite, in fact. But all the modern-day tulip bulb bubbles keep going up...

Just change the years, and that's my opinion for 2020. About the only thing I can think to add is that the insanity of the Fed hoovering up crappy stocks and bonds to the tune of a half a trillion dollars in the last weeks of 2019 does not seem like a positive thing. But given that this is an election year, we can assume the hoovering will continue in whatever volume necessary to prevent any serious downturns in either the stock or bond markets.

Speaking of the election, it looks like the DNC is doing everything they can to re-elect Trump. At this point, the Democrats have so shot themselves repeatedly in both feet, I don't see any way for them to recover short of putting a radical like Sanders up for the nomination. Unfortunately for the party, that will never happen. Instead, the party hacks will once again rig the primary for Biden which will guarantee a Trump win in a landslide. In the meantime, our famously free press will continue to be the 24-7 Re-elect Trump ad that they've become since 2016.

On a personal level, I'm not sure how 2020 can be any worse than 2019, but I'm sure Loki or Pan or God or whoever (if anyone) is in charge of things will figure out a way. Over the last year, my kidneys crapped out entirely, so now I get to do dialysis every day for the rest of my life. Yaaaa! Then my immune system ate all the nerves from the knees down, so now I'm basically a complete cripple unable to do anything for myself. Yaaaaaa! Then my thyroid bit the dust so now I'm on hormone pills for the rest of my life. Yaaaaaaa! And no explanation for any of it. Personally, I think it's all some autoimmune disorder, but none of my 17 doctors seem to give a shit other than racking up huge bills for Medicare and Medicaid. The question I keep asking (and not getting an answer to) is what happens when it kills an organ than can't be replaced with a pill or a shot or a machine?

What all this means is that any goals we had as far as getting work done around here just got flushed down the toilet. My day is basically wake up, hobble (barely) out to my recliner, sit all day reading, messing around on the internet, or watching movies, then hobble (barely) back to bed. The only excitement to break up the day is all the medical procedures we have to do to keep me alive and being driven around to all of my doctors appointments, lab tests, etc. There is a mile-long list of things that need to be done and I cannot do a single one of them. We tried to hire someone to do one of the easiest things on that list, but it turned into a giant, two-month-long clusterfuck, that we are still catching drama about. Life is too short for all that and so is money, meaning I expect 2020 to be nothing but a lot of sitting around watching the yard go to hell and nothing getting done on the house interspersed with doctor crap. Yaaaaaa!

Happy New Year!

Friday, December 13, 2019

Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th falls on a Friday this month, so I figured I'd write something here. I know I said I was going to do this more than once a month, but right now, my life is so boring, I have nothing to say. The one thing we did manage to do was drag my parents to the Sweet Blossom Alpaca Farm Open House. We figured we would be out there with maybe a dozen other people, but when we got there, we were greeted by about 50 cars and at least 100 people with a steady line coming in behind us. Debbie Pettis, one of the owners, had talked to so many people by the time we got there she was losing her voice. I had no chance at getting close to the animals with my walker, but Debbie managed to fight her way up to the fence and met Envy:


We are trying to arrange something with a smaller group in January or February. We'll see.

Part of the problem trying to plan anything is my health. Without going into a great amount of detail, it ain't good, and seems to be getting worse. I face-planted in a parking lot yesterday and would probably still be laying there if a young dude hadn't run over and picked me up and set me back on my feet. Oh to be 20 again.... Right now, I'm camped on the recliner with a bottle of ibuprofen and my warm bankie with no plans of moving for the next 24 hours. After that, we'll have to do a thorough damage assessment and see what I need to do next.

I'd like to write something about the insanity in DC, but all I can think of to say is GAHHHHHH! It's bad enough that the Hillary cabal destroyed the Democratic party, but now they seem determined to destroy the basic institutions of democracy. I wonder if any of these dopes have read a history book and have any clue as to what they are stirring up?

As the late Jerry Pournelle frequently said, "Ye flipping gods."

Monday, November 04, 2019

A Memory

And just so everyone doesn't think this is one of those all-politics-all-the-time blogs, we have something a little different today.

I'm not sure if it's because of Jon Katz recently losing his companion Red, or just early-onset senility, but I keep finding myself thinking about my two former four-legged friends.

The first one was a bit of a fluke. We could never have a dog in the house when I was young because of my allergies. As I got older, I seemed to "outgrow" them and didn't have a problem being around dogs, but my mother was adamant that there was not going to be any dogs in her house. Then my sister came dragging home a puppy and out of a sense of fairness, I got one out of the same litter. And so I finally had a dog like most of my friends.

Heidi and some scrawny dork. Taken at my mom's family homestead.

Heidi was with me all through school, my early college years and was still around to see me marry Debbie. People didn't really keep track of dog birthdays back then; near as we can figure she made it through 13 or 14 years before her little body gave out. Not bad for the runt of the litter.

We didn't have a dog for quite some time after that because we were both working, going to college and not real sure where we were going to end up living; not ideal conditions for getting a pet. Then we got a dog by another fluke. A friend of ours had two dogs that decided one day, after living together for several years, that they needed to kill each other. So we came home from vacation with a dog squeezed in the back seat with all our luggage.

Shilo in her "Is it time to wrestle?" pose.
Shilo was with us during the crazy early years of marriage when we were still trying to figure out who we were and what we were going to do and where we were going to do it. She was always there to remind us what was really important; a good romp in the back yard, 9pm milk bones, and Dairy Queen Blizzards! She wasn't with us for very long, done in by a weak heart and her eternal nemesis, Squirrel.

I've never been real clear on what happens to a dog's spirit when they die, but I know they will live forever in our hearts. God speed to both of my beautiful girls.

Back in the USSR

When I was in the second grade (back in the Dark Ages when cars still had tail fins instead of seat belts), my parents decided that the public schools in Flint had gone completely off the rails to the extent that they managed on my dad's working-class pay, to scrape up the cash to send me to a Christian school. One of the regular features of that school was Friday Morning Chapel, a break from the drudgery that passes for education in America for the drudgery that passes for religion in America.

But on occasion, we would get a Special Speaker who would hold us rapt with the harrowing tale of their daring escape from the clutches of those Evil Pinko Commie Bastards over in Russia. ("Bastards" was implied, not spoken aloud; these were good, God-fearin' Christian folk, after all.) The basic outline of the story was always the same: Christian person gets "the call" to serve God in a way that involves knowingly violating the laws of the Soviet Union (for example, entering the country under false pretenses). Christian person persists in his or her chosen illegal activity, often after being caught and politely asked to go away and don't come back, until one day, the gloves come off and they find themselves in a Soviet prison, with no access to legal council, frequently deprived of food and medical care, and subject to various forms of physical and mental mistreatment. Then, because of the prayers of Christians back home and not a little pressure from the US State Department, the person would be freed, placed on a jet bound for JFK, and warned never to return to the USSR.

Anyone who thinks I'm making this up, meet God's Smuggler.

This, we were repeatedly assured, could never happen in the land of the free and the home of the brave! We should remember to thank God every day that we were so lucky to be born in the USA and not the USSR.

Fast forward to 2019.

So now the story is a Russian, here legally in the United States as a student, working the NRA lecture circuit talking about her efforts to bring 2nd-Amendment-type rights to Russia. She is picked up by the Stasi, er, the FBI on some made-up charges that even if true would involve a simple fine, held incommunicado with no access to legal council, deprived of food and medical care, and subject to various forms of mistreatment. After being tortured for 18 months, she is released, put on a plane bound for Moscow, and warned never to return to the USA.

Anyone who thinks I'm making this up, meet Maria Butina.

At least we can all celebrate the fact that two faggots can run a Christian-owned bakery out of business for refusing to make them a wedding cake.... 

Saturday, October 26, 2019

Mental Illness on Parade

Hillary Clinton is giving America a ring-side seat to watch her descent into madness. Like the movie Joker, the audience isn't sure if we are supposed to feel pity or loathing. Her repeated attacks on Tulsi Gabbard accusing her of treason and being a Russian asset would be hilarious if not for the fact that the media seems to be following Hillary into dementia, reporting every one of her "your a Russian asset!" accusations as absolute fact.

Then we have Nancy Pelosi going full Jack Nicholson on Trump in the middle of a cabinet meeting, complete with flying spit and shaking her finger is his face. I half expected her to launch herself across the table and try to punch him. "All roads lead to Putin!" Trump loves this shit, by the way. Goading the opposition into a complete fury, causing them to sever all ties with reason, has been Trump's go-to move for decades.

Speaking of losing all touch with reality, we have Uncle Joe, groper of children, smell-tester of women's hair, out on the campaign trail spinning yarn after yarn while the media continue to refer to him as the only serious candidate for the Democratic ticket. Trump would love nothing better than to run against a gaff machine like Biden. When will the establishment Democrats and the media cut their losses and quietly nudge Biden off-stage? Are they so terrified of a candidate that makes even a modest attempt at being truly liberal, as in liberating the working class, that they are willing to guarantee a second Trump term?

And lest anyone conclude that I only think the Democratic half of the ruling oligarchy is mad, let's talk about the Ass Clown in Chief and his loyal sidekick, Mike Pence, the most radical fundamentalist in politics since John Ashcroft. It says something about how much the average American hates/distrusts Hillary that someone running for president as a joke (and you know it started as a joke, right?) gets himself elected. He has no relevant experience and proves every day that he is unfit for office. He has violated so many laws that impeachment would be a cakewalk if the Democrats were actually interested in removing him from office. Instead, they whinge about make-believe stories that come from the fevered imagination of Mad Dog Maddow. Maybe something deep in their sub-conscious minds is telling them that President Pence would be even less to their liking than President Trump. Meanwhile, Trump stomps around like some half-blind Godzilla putting paid to the US economy and embarrassing the entire nation every time he meets with another head of state. I'd ask God to help us, but He's likely too busy trying not to piss Himself while laughing at us. American Exceptionalism my ass....

For a different form of mental illness, we can take a peak at the churning madhouse called Facebook. Debbie had shared some lady's thoughts on self-checkouts and how they cost jobs. There was one person who insisted repeatedly that it didn't matter that every one of her counter-arguments had been shot down, "Progress is unstoppable!" First, as every general in all of human history who has declared that his forces are "unstoppable" has discovered, nothing is unstoppable. Second, how do you define "progress"? If you mean the replacement of all meaningful work by machines, how is that progress? When two-thirds of the population are permanently unemployed, do you really believe we will all be sitting on a sunny beach sipping mai-tai's? Are you aware that automation and offshoring has already resulted in 17% of the male working-age population not even bothering to look for work? Read a history book and find out what happens when a society fails to find something meaningful for its young men to do. Then think about all the hate being directed at white males in particular and ask yourself why would they not decide that bricks and Molotov cocktails are the only available option left?

I know; I promised my three readers that I would start keeping these short(er), so I'll shut up now.

Saturday, October 19, 2019

Rain, Rain, Go Away

So for the last month or so, it's been hot and dry. All of our plants were starting to look pretty sad and I was wishing for some rain. Know how they say be careful what you wish for? Well...


That's a photo Debbie took of the overflowing retention pond right across the road from our trailer. We're high enough that we don't have any water damage, but some of our neighbors were not so lucky. Thanks Nestor. Glad to have met you.

I know, I know. I'd bitch if I was hung with a new rope....

Speaking of bitchin', I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who thinks precious little Greta needs to shut up and go back to school. There are no simple solutions to complex problems, only simple-minded ones based on a lack of knowledge. Maybe Greta should quit skipping school and spend a little more time in the library. Zero carbon means going back to the lifestyles of around 1800 or so. That means little Greta would be getting schooled in a one-room school house (if she was being schooled at all) and would be spending most of her non-school time doing hard physical labor on the family's subsistence farm. Not sailing around in million dollar sailboats and staying in posh hotels while lecturing us poor dumb rubes on how we are personally responsible for every bad thing that will ever happen to her.

One of the reasons the climate change movement has crashed and burned so badly is that every single person yapping about how I should be riding a bicycle or taking the bus insists that because they are a Very Important Person, they get to fly on private jets and ride around in chauffeured limousines. ( I'm looking hard in your direction, AOC.) A little practicing what you preach would go a long way.

Well, that's probably enough whinging for one day. I think I'll try to keep these things a little shorter, then maybe I'll post more often than once every three or four months.

Monday, October 14, 2019

Decision Time

[Originally posted at LiveJournal]

Well, after a great deal of thinking (mostly about sex and food), I've decided to move back to my old Blogger blog. I hate doing that for a whole variety of reasons, but there just isn't a platform that does what I want to do that doesn't cost money, or, like Livejournal, costs money and still doesn't do what I want. I guess you know you have truly descended from the working class to the welfare class when $4 a month is too steep of a price to pay for a blogging platform. I'm not deleting this, but it won't likely (see how I'm covering my ass there?) be posting anything to this site from now on. I've already changed our rdfrost.com domain to point to the Blogger page and did a little site clean-up. The dust does tend to build up when you've been gone for a year. I'll probably change my mind at least five more times, but for now, this is where we will be hanging out.

Sigh....

Yea, I'm crawling back here after my brief stint over at Livejornal. Everything over there is... well I wouldn't say it's difficult; rather everything is not intuitive. At least for me. Maybe because I've been using Blogger since it was invented, that is what I expect the look-and-feel of everything else to conform to. And yes, I know that means being borged by the Evil Demon Google and having my post removed from search results because I use naughty words like "nigger" in my posts. I'll just have to get used to it, I guess. I will likely be moving my domain name back to this blog later today after I have a chance to update the link list, title quote, etc. and then maybe I'll get my lazy butt back to routine blogging. I've been binge reading all of John Michael Greer's peak oil books, so maybe that will give me something to write about.

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

So Now What?

[Originally posted at LiveJournal]

So I haven't posted in forever, mostly because I've done nothing but go to doctor's appointments while bouncing in and out of the hospital. The problem with all that is it makes very boring blog post material. Other than a quick trip up to Michigan for a family reunion, we have done nothing but deal with my medical shit, and no one wants to read endless blog post spewing medical jargon like Anxonal Peripheral Polyneuropothy (one of several diagnoses I've been hit with since my last post).

So now I'm trying to figure out what to do with this blog. I used to post about all the interesting places we went to, but we won't ever be able to do that again. Or I'd post long political rants, but everything there is to say has been said, and nothing is getting one damn bit better. In fact, the whole damn thing is going to hell faster than even I thought possible. Endless posts where I take victory laps for things being even worse than I predicted seems a little egomaniacal.

I'm hoping that I can get some mobility back so I can get back out into the yard, maybe try to do a little gardening. That will at least give me pretty flower pictures to post.

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

More Medical Mayhem

[Originally posted at LiveJournal]

There was one... uh... interesting part of my last hospital visit that I didn't talk about in my previous diatribe: the dialysis fiasco. See, I was supposed to be what they refer to as an "urgent start", so while I was in the hospital, my kidney doc arranged to have my PD done in my room. Some guy who we had never seen before came in with all the equipment and supplies, introduced himself and asked if we minded if he used me to train the new guy. We told him that was fine as long as we could listen in because we needed to know about this thing as well. He explained that the equipment we would have at home would be different, but they all work more-or-less the same way and any differences would be mostly cosmetic.

So we got a quick rundown of terminology, how the system worked, what problems can come up, how to fix some of the more common alarms, etc. Then they left. Things went OK that first night; we had a couple alarms, but we knew what to do. Which turned out to be most fortunate, because as we learned from our night nurse, once the two gentlemen left, there was no one in the entire hospital who had any knowledge of PD, and it wouldn't have mattered even if they did: the equipment belonged to an outside company and hospital personnel were strictly forbidden to even touch it.

I thought that was an odd way for a major hospital to do things, but what do I know? We muddled through the next few nights without major incident. The occasional alarms were annoying, but we were able to deal with them. And then my last night in the hospital everything went all to hell.

First, the guy who came in was not any of the ones who had come in before. He was obviously in a big hurry, which means he had problems getting the machine set up. No surprise there; all equipment has a built-in detector that increases the likelihood of a malfunction in direct proportion to how much of a hurry you are in. He finally gets the thing working, then goes running out the door before the first step had completed. The other guys always hung around for most of the first full cycle just to make sure everything was good. I thought maybe he had someone in another room to get hooked up or something.

Anyway, we started getting alarms almost immediately, and not the ones that we knew what to do anything about. We double-checked everything we could think of to check, but no joy. Alarm after alarm after alarm after alarm. The nurse called the guy to have him come check it out.

The son-of-a-bitch had left the building! By the time our nurse made contact with him, he was already an hour from the hospital on his way home and refused to come back. He said the only thing he could suggest was to mute the alarm and wait until someone came in the morning to unhook everything and see if they could get things working.

No. Fucking. Way!!!

I was supposed to be discharged the next morning. The total time on the machine was close to eight hours, which would have meant another day and night in the hospital. I was done! I wanted to get home!

We kept poking at the thing and nearly 10 hours and 30+ alarms later, we finally got through the entire process. I felt bad for anyone in the rooms near mine. The damn alarms were loud as hell and they were going off every couple minutes at one point. I was so pissed I had decided that if I ever saw that ass-clown again, I would tear his head off and shit down his throat. Fortunately, someone else showed up the next morning to unhook me.

Now that I've had some sleep and knowing what I know about the medical-industrial complex, I'm willing to give the SoB a bit of a break. I still don't appreciate the whole attitude that my health and well-being are unimportant, that I'm just a "consumer" of healthcare "services" and deserve no more consideration or respect that someone "consuming" a box of Goobers.

However, if SoB's company operates the way most others around here do, he isn't considered an employee, but an independent contractor. Which means that he is probably paid some flat amount for each dialysis patient he hooks up while having to use his own vehicle and gas to drive all over Pasco County. The flat amount probably sounds like a lot of money until he subtracts out vehicle depreciation, maintenance, gas, paying the full amount of his Social Security (double what is withheld from your paycheck), health insurance, additional car insurance (it's now considered a vehicle for hire), and a long list of incidentals. All of which means he's likely making less that he would flipping burgers for minimum wage, and explains to some extent the bitchy attitude.

But what I'm most interested in is how all this works from the hospital side of things. Here I am, an inpatient of Advent Healthcare of Zephyrhills, squirming around on my plastic bed because of the giant sore on my ass (which two months later still has not healed...) hooked up to a machine that no one in the building has any knowledge of, and will be fired on the spot if they so much as touch any part of it. Now what happens if I code? Not impossible. After all, the primary reason I was in the hospital was sharp stabbing chest pains. Would everyone just stand around the bed and watch me die while the night nurse argues with SoB about getting his ass back to the hospital? Would they try to revive me while working around the machine and the hundreds of feet of plastic tubing sprouting from it and connected to me like some giant plastic squid, knowing that touching any of it meant instant job loss? What if the machine were to malfunction and catch fire? Just let it burn? Or would the night nurse risk her career to unplug it and hose it down with a fire extinguisher?

(Yes, I'm being sarcastic, but only sort of. I'd really like to see whatever written agreement that exists between the hospital and the dialysis company. I can tell you that every hospital employee that came into my room while I was on dialysis treated the equipment like it was infected with ebola. I'll bet there are stories....)

Is there anyone reading this that doesn't think this is a stupid way to run a hospital? It's so stupid, in fact, that it has to be deliberate. The only reason this could exist in a rational universe is that someone, somewhere is fattening up their off-shore bank account. Maybe News Channel 8's crack investigative team can take a break from chasing cockroaches around mom&pop restaurants and go hunting the giant cockroaches infesting our health care system.

And I'm sure all those paid advertisements from the major hospitals that run every 5 minutes day and night on their network will not have any influence on future news stories, cuz you are all so full of integrity and stuff. Full of something anyway....