Thursday, June 02, 2016

Wait... Did Hell Freeze Over?

In the four years we've lived here, the park maintenance people have cut our grass exactly once, and that was only because I demanded that they do so. But something has changed. They've been back here twice in two weeks!! It's like a miracle or something.

Understand that I generally cut our own grass (and the seven other lots on our block). The maintenance guys start at the front of the park every week and work their way to the back. If something comes up, they don't make it to the back of the park. I don't mind giving them a hand, but sometimes things come up for me as well, and it would be nice if the park didn't assume that they never need to come back here. It's not like we get a break on the rent for doing their work for them.

But for now, it looks like the maintenance crew has finally discovered the back corner of the park where we live. It will be interesting to see what happens when the new owners take over in a few weeks. Lots of rumors, but not much in the way of facts. Other than they are yet-another multinational corporation whose primary goal is to make as much money as possible with as little effort as possible. In other words, I don't expect anything to improve unless it comes with a big price tag attached.

The theater-of-the-absurd presidential "race" continues, getting more surreal by the day. Rumors abound of violence at the Democratic convention, along with actual threats of violence at the Republican convention from the Black Lives Matter shitheads. There are other rumors of the Democratic establishment freaking out over what a piss-poor campaign Hillary is running, and I still expect the Republican establishment to do away with The Donald at some point over the summer, by whatever means necessary.

The latest absurdity is that Victoria Nuland is being considered for Hillary Clinton's Secretary of State. Perfect. I wonder how many days after the inauguration it will take for Vicky and Hill to do something really stupid with regards to... oh, I don't know... Russia? Just to pick a country completely at random. Not that we can't whip Russia in no time. I mean, look at how well we're doing trying to kill off a bunch of Kalashnikov-toting goat herders. With a success like that under our belt, who in their right mind would doubt that Russia's military wouldn't crumble on first contact with ours? As it turns out, several people who are fully in their right minds:

We, the undersigned, are Russians living and working in the USA. We have been watching with increasing anxiety as the current US and NATO policies have set us on an extremely dangerous collision course with the Russian Federation, as well as with China. Many respected, patriotic Americans, such as Paul Craig Roberts, Stephen Cohen, Philip Giraldi, Ray McGovern and many others have been issuing warnings of a looming Third World War. But their voices have been all but lost among the din of a mass media that is full of deceptive and inaccurate stories that characterize the Russian economy as being in shambles and the Russian military as weak—all based on no evidence. But we—knowing both Russian history and the current state of Russian society and the Russian military, cannot swallow these lies. We now feel that it is our duty, as Russians living in the US, to warn the American people that they are being lied to, and to tell them the truth. And the truth is simply this:

If there is going to be a war with Russia, then the United States will most certainly be destroyed, and most of us will end up dead.

But that's OK, because the really important news is that some fringe group of social justice warriors got a frog on a unicycle banned from their own, insignificant corner of the internet:

“Dat Boi” is an Internet meme that sprung up randomly, as so many memes do, about two months ago. It’s a low-resolution frog riding a unicycle, with the caption “Here come dat boi!” Don’t try to overthink it. It’s (supposedly) funny because it’s silly and random. A frog, retro low-res graphics, a unicycle, and slang for “that boy.” If you insist on knowing more, there’s no shortage of Dat Boi explanatory articles. But really, all you need to know is that it’s arbitrary on purpose, a non sequitur, a head-scratcher for “noobs”...everything that makes a good meme.

Except that according to black social justice warriors, it’s a bad meme. A very bad meme. Because it’s racist (you expected a different reason?). Yes, the frog on the unicycle is racist....

For a people who like to boast about being descended from kings, this is most surely an ignominious reduction in influence. “My ancestors ruled over a vast, fertile kingdom and commanded an army of warriors. I got a frog on a unicycle banned from a Facebook group.” From Zulu emperor to hobo emperor. It would be funny if not for the fact that the black community in the U.S. can ill afford such stupidity from its leaders and activists. Stoners wearing dreadlocks and frogs on unicycles... these are the worst problems black Americans face?

No, there are real problems faced by black Americans. But, in keeping with the rules of the Rescue Game, such "problems" as a frog on a unicycle make it possible for social justice warriors to put something in the win column (no matter how insignificant), and feel good about themselves, without doing anything that might be mistaken for actually helping black Americans. Like teaching them the importance of speaking standard English, rather than making up bullshit like African-American Vernacular English.

Well, I really should go outside and do a little work on my day off.

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