The root word of Halloween is "hallow," which means "holy, consecrated and set apart for service." If this holiday is hallowed, whose service is it set apart for? The answer to that question is very easy—Lucifer's!
Yea. The answer is only easy for you, Ms. Daniels, because you don't concern yourself with reality. Something that becomes very apparent further down the article where you invent a factoid that I am certain we will see repeated uncritically by evangelicals all over the country:
...most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.
So there you have it; those bastards at M&M Mars are a bunch of devil worshipers that are trying to bring about the demon possession of all the children through candy.
To someone's credit, the article was pulled after more-pointed mocking than I have time for (like this and this). But one fact about the internet always seems to elude the religiously inclined: Once something is on the internet, it never goes away, thanks to the Google Wayback Machine. The time to think about the implications of what you are saying, not just to your target audience, but to all of the other 100's of millions of internet users, is before you publish. If evangelicalism plans to still exist in a century, then its members need to be at least as critical of Robertson et al., as they are of atheists. Remember, Jesus ate meals with sinners, prostitutes and tax collectors, while heaping scorn and verbal abuse on the first-century Pat Robertsons.
So, Happy Halloween! Now I'm off to eat all the leftover candy. Which, as we all know, is the real reason adults invented the thing.