Monday, October 04, 2004

Michigan Temperature Conversion Chart

Another old one. It's hung around in my inbox long enough that it is relevant again:

+70 degrees:
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
In Michigan, people go swimming in the lakes.

+60 degrees:
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.

+50 degrees:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.

+40 degrees:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.

+30 degrees:
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Michigan water gets thicker.

+20 degrees:
Floridians wear coats, long underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.

+15 degrees:
Philadelphia landlords finally turn on the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.

+10 degrees:
People in Miami all die.
People from Michigan lick a flagpole for fun.

0 degrees:
Californians fly to Mexico.
People in Michigan look for their winter coats.

-20 degrees:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.

-60 degrees:
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.
Michigan Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes....until it gets cold enough.

-80 degrees:
Mount St Helen's freezes.
People in Michigan rent some videos.

-100 degrees:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganians get frustrated because they can't thaw a keg.

-297 degrees:
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Michigan complain about farmers with cold hands.

-460 degrees:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in Kelvin scale)
People in Michigan start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

-500 degrees:
Hell freezes over.
The Lions win the Super Bowl!

No comments: